Need your thoughts on a strategy to meet new people

[sordi88]

Hello friends!
For once I need your advice! I thank you in advance <3

I'm quite a funny guy and decently good looking (I know I sound pompous, but I have been told this by enough people to believe it being true); anyway in those rare occasions I meet people they all seem to gravitate around me...I'm one of those "magnetic personalities", I guess, and quite funny.

Despite that, because of an intricate net of insecurities, paranoias and being incredibly rusty, I'm in my early 30s and I haven't able to have any romatnic contact with a woman for 13 years...not even a kiss....
Technically I'm not a virgin, as I was able to have sex from about 2009 to 2011, but it has been more than 13 years...

I thought the frustration would have gotten better with time, but apparently it's the opposite...it grows.
Oddly enough I'm not interested in casual sex, and I can only really see sex inside of a genuine and loving relationship, so I'm not just searching for a convenient solution to "empty my balls" (rude expression, but sells the idea).
I also categorically refuse to use tinder, as I feel it's inhumane (not judgment here...if it works for you...more power to you!).

That said I decided this year is enough...
I cannot handle the frustration of the thought that for whatever reason love and sex cannot be a part of my existence, while it seems to be the case for other people.
It feels like I'm wasting my best years...

That said I work from home, I'm in my early 30s and my friends only gather for dinner parties (basically no new people join the group).
It has been borderline impossible as a result to meet new people, and I have grown tired of waiting for the proverbial "stroke of luck".

So...as a strategy, this summer, I have decided to just simply go out and hang around the night life spots around my city, even if alone.
Mind you, I'm not the guy that randomly approaches people or anything like that...
My plan would be to just immerse myself in the summer atmosphere, perhaps just getting a drink and an ice cream, soaking all the energy people in summer give.
Perhaps with a bit of luck I can start a conversation with someone...at least it's better than being depressed at home.

What I wonder is...
Do you think this is a good idea?
Do you think it's creepy or inappropriate?
Do you think it's stupid?

Mind you, I only plan to start a conversation if I'm approached first, and not the other way around.
I plan to be 150% respectful of other people's privacy...but I feel being "out there" beats staying at home waiting for a miracle and being consumed by depression and hopelessness.

What do you think?
Am I being delirious?
Am I being Inappropriate?
Shoudl I just give up this endevaour?

Thanks!

[radimage]

I think it's a great idea! The more you put yourself out there, the better the chance to meet new people.
Go for it! You really don't have anything to lose.

[Wallingford]

Do you bowl? Do you have hobbies?

Can you find any groups in your area that do what you like? Even if it's birdhouse building.

Baking? You don't bake? You like to eat? Baking, recipe sharing groups are common.

Book club? Sounds boring! Next!

I was 36 when I got married. The thing I finally figured out is you have to be you. Don't be the guy you think people want you to be. Don't try to sound interested in things you're not. Just be you.

Now, a disclaimer to that, Star Wars Lego Builders and Collectors might not have you meeting the girl of your dreams.

I went to a radio station sponsored singles mixer once. Sheeeiiiiiit, most of the people there were married and you could tell. Men and women claiming to be single to mingle. I confronted the station management to much shoulder shrugging.

I know this next suggestion sounds desperate, but you can work it if you approach it correctly. Ask your married friends if they know anybody. Or ask your couple, but not married yet friends if they know anybody.

Some of us don't have a church network or a pta (school) network for things like this. I would like to think that would make it easier.

Brave of you for asking. You have my complete support.

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by radimage

I think it's a great idea! The more you put yourself out there, the better the chance to meet new people.
Go for it! You really don't have anything to lose.

Thanks for the encouragement!

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by Wallingford

Do you bowl? Do you have hobbies?

Can you find any groups in your area that do what you like? Even if it's birdhouse building.

Baking? You don't bake? You like to eat? Baking, recipe sharing groups are common.

Book club? Sounds boring! Next!

I was 36 when I got married. The thing I finally figured out is you have to be you. Don't be the guy you think people want you to be. Don't try to sound interested in things you're not. Just be you.

Now, a disclaimer to that, Star Wars Lego Builders and Collectors might not have you meeting the girl of your dreams.

I went to a radio station sponsored singles mixer once. Sheeeiiiiiit, most of the people there were married and you could tell. Men and women claiming to be single to mingle. I confronted the station management to much shoulder shrugging.

I know this next suggestion sounds desperate, but you can work it if you approach it correctly. Ask your married friends if they know anybody. Or ask your couple, but not married yet friends if they know anybody.

Some of us don't have a church network or a pta (school) network for things like this. I would like to think that would make it easier.

Brave of you for asking. You have my complete support.

I like walking, biking, creating art, listening to music, smoking weed and just chilling.
Admittedly not a very exciting life...

[Wallingford]

Originally Posted by sordi88

I like walking, biking, creating art, listening to music, smoking weed and just chilling.
Admittedly not a very exciting life...

Okay, creating art, pottery? Paint? Welding rebar into chickens or Mariachi bands? Gotta be some local group for that interest. Find it!

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by Wallingford

Okay, creating art, pottery? Paint? Welding rebar into chickens or Mariachi bands? Gotta be some local group for that interest. Find it!

Art is both my hobby and my job.
I work in the animation industry.

[Wallingford]

Originally Posted by sordi88

Art is both my hobby and my job.
I work in the animation industry.

Please forgive me in advance for my hyperactive free association skills.

I'm thinking an animated version, not literally, of "somebody to love."

Not the literal song, but animation that illustrates how you feel. You could introduce this animation to some of your friends and see if it goes "viral," viral enough, that is.

I am not a Steve Carell fan, but to illustrate my idea, take the sequence in Despicable Me where Happy is playing. He exercises in the park with the happy people, throws the frisbie with the kids, pets the dog.

In the second part, after she's out with someone else, he throws the frisbie down the storm drain and chases off the dog, or something like that.

I'll have to watch it again for the particulars, but I hope I've passed along the general idea.

Art has frequently been used to illustrate reality. And it is old school. It might, perchance, "catch the conscience of the king."

Melissa Manchester sings a song, "You should hear how she talks about You." The end of the lyrics, "its me!" She's the one talking about him, can't he see that?

Once again, forgive me. It is Oh four hundred in the freaking morning, and 90 degrees. So no coffee to get going, just this tepid whatever it is.

And I won't be offended if I get the Charles Barkley, "that's turble."

[sordi88]

Today some friends will engage in some early evening company and, lo and behold, there'll be a female friend I don't know joining the fun.
I have decided to resist my natural tendencies to stay home and attend to say hi.
Meeting just 1 random woman won't make my chances skyrocket by any means, but 1 chance is better than 0!

Will let you know how it goes.

[Frogger]

The friends and family plan is probably your best best. They know you so they will be your best matchmakers.

I met my wife thru a mutual friend 9 years ago and it's been great!