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RissenPhoenix · 23rd February 2013, 05:49

Like the title says, my wife was a nympho while we were dating, now she says she doesn't want to have sex anymore. We have had a rocky relationship recently and her depression takes it's toll. I'm in the mood all the time. I'm only 32 with a healthy sexual appetite.

So now I'm thinkin about getting a FWB to have some wild and kinky fun with.

Anyone else in this situation?

DigNap15 · 23rd February 2013, 06:46

I am an older guy.

I had that happen to me too.
When you are couritn g they are all over you loving you and yoru dick.

Then once you get married and have children, they tend to trun off.
I think its a natural thign with women.

Its a shame but I think you shodul talk to her first and tell her you still have needs.

Tell her the odd blow job woudl be OK.
Or let you just fuck her from behind.

But then she'll just hate you.

God I hate women!

Of course, there may be some thing you have done or do that puts her off.
Like not dressing nice for bed.
Not making enough money
Drinking too much
being too fact
Not buying her the odd little treat.

Whats a FWB
I want one!

theharlequin · 23rd February 2013, 09:21

If your wife is suffering from depression the first plan of attack is to resolve this issue before tackling the lack of your wifes libido. Depression can be a complicated thing and it is important that she speaks to a professional who is able to discuss possible treatments to help reduce the effects. Support her in this, communication is important, let her know you are there for her. However if it were me I would avoid anything negative like telling her you're not getting enough for a while until her depression is under wraps. At the end of the day you know her better than anyone else so it's your judgement call to make.

bbenson67 · 23rd February 2013, 10:03

A common manifestation of depression is anhedonia. Simply it's an inability to experience pleasure from things you normally found pleasurable. Get her some help but also know that some of the most common and effective anti-depressants can have a suppressive effect on the libido.

The doctor can explain it to you but just be aware that it's normal given her condition. Good luck.

Reclaimed - P01 · 23rd February 2013, 12:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by RissenPhoenix

Like the title says, my wife was a nympho while we were dating, now she says she doesn't want to have sex anymore. We have had a rocky relationship recently and her depression takes it's toll. I'm in the mood all the time. I'm only 32 with a healthy sexual appetite.

So now I'm thinkin about getting a FWB to have some wild and kinky fun with.

Anyone else in this situation?

Having a 'healthy sexual appetite' is no excuse to shit on your marriage if you value your marriage in the least.

Do you love your wife? If so, act like it and help her get past her issues instead of worrying about your current lack of a sex life. Take care of her and your relationship and use your hand when you need a release.

Personally I'm of the opinion that if you didn't plan on till death do you part, why did you ever get married in the first.

RissenPhoenix · 23rd February 2013, 13:19

Some history on her and myself.

I grew up knowing that if you want something you have to work for it. There are no free hand outs in life. I have tried and her friends have tried to help her and she has pushed us away each time. Her biggest complaint is that i work too much and don't make enough money that she can be a stay at home mother.

We had a great first 3 years up until my son was born. Once he. Was born my wife had a hard time taking care of him. She sometimes just flat out ignored him. I didn't know this until i was seriously injured at work and was at homed layed up for a year where she not only could not take care of my needs but couldn't accept that i was doing a better job of raising our son.

Several times she would up and leave us, and go back with her mother for a few days at a time. Then last year after a fight about me working too much and not making enough for her to quite her job she walked out and left for 6 weeks. It wasn't until my son asked when mom was coming home 5 and a half weeks later did he even mention her.

We have been trying to work things out but this is when she now said that she doesn't want to have sex, anymore. We have done the counseling , talked to pastors, and the list goes on. We are basically staying together for my sons sake so he will grow up having his mom and dad around.

When she said she didn't want to have sex anymore, i posed the question as to having a "Friend with benefits ". She said nothing. So this is where I'm at, at this point.

jdbAG · 23rd February 2013, 13:57

Fuck her in her sleep.

If porn has taught me anything it's that she wont notice

Reclaimed - P01 · 23rd February 2013, 14:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by RissenPhoenix

Some history on her and myself.

Reading what you said there gives a ton more information. That said, your future depends on what you want it to be. Obviously it's not my life so take whatever I say here and do what best fits you. Here would be my questions for you at this point though.

Is your kid really better off having two parents if one of them seems to be a parent only in name? How long do you think that you can 'hide' your real relationship with your wife in front of your kid and at that point doesn't it defeat the entire purpose you are aiming for? And lastly do you honestly think things with your wife are fixable or are you planning on sacrificing yourself for your kid in what imo is a flawed plan.

It's your life and only you can make the right choices for yourself, but is having FWBs the answer that you really need at this point? Regardless, I really hope you find what you need to get past this.

theharlequin · 23rd February 2013, 16:15

Time to skip the pastors, family/friends and seek an expensive professional psychologist with expertise in this area. Sooner the better to pin point the cause of these issues, there might be more going on behind the scenes you are not aware of. You had something special, it can be this way again with some good support and understanding.

thruster315 · 23rd February 2013, 16:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by RissenPhoenix

We have done the counseling , talked to pastors, and the list goes on.

I'm curious. What have these people said to help the situation??

23rd February 2013, 05:49	#1
RissenPhoenix Registered User Virgin Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 2 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 2 Posts	Wife says she doesn't want to have sex anymore Like the title says, my wife was a nympho while we were dating, now she says she doesn't want to have sex anymore. We have had a rocky relationship recently and her depression takes it's toll. I'm in the mood all the time. I'm only 32 with a healthy sexual appetite. So now I'm thinkin about getting a FWB to have some wild and kinky fun with. Anyone else in this situation? Last edited by RissenPhoenix; 23rd February 2013 at 05:58.

23rd February 2013, 06:46	#2
DigNap15 V.I.P. Clinically Insane Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,854 Thanks: 9,630 Thanked 12,851 Times in 3,733 Posts	I am an older guy. I had that happen to me too. When you are couritn g they are all over you loving you and yoru dick. Then once you get married and have children, they tend to trun off. I think its a natural thign with women. Its a shame but I think you shodul talk to her first and tell her you still have needs. Tell her the odd blow job woudl be OK. Or let you just fuck her from behind. But then she'll just hate you. God I hate women! Of course, there may be some thing you have done or do that puts her off. Like not dressing nice for bed. Not making enough money Drinking too much being too fact Not buying her the odd little treat. Whats a FWB I want one! __________________ Could I suggest that you backup all of your files to an external hard drive and store this offsite.

23rd February 2013, 09:21	#3
theharlequin Keeper of the Black Library Forum Lord Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 1,420 Thanks: 7,762 Thanked 2,600 Times in 1,046 Posts	If your wife is suffering from depression the first plan of attack is to resolve this issue before tackling the lack of your wifes libido. Depression can be a complicated thing and it is important that she speaks to a professional who is able to discuss possible treatments to help reduce the effects. Support her in this, communication is important, let her know you are there for her. However if it were me I would avoid anything negative like telling her you're not getting enough for a while until her depression is under wraps. At the end of the day you know her better than anyone else so it's your judgement call to make.

23rd February 2013, 10:03	#4
bbenson67 Registered User Addicted Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 522 Thanks: 13,735 Thanked 1,525 Times in 447 Posts	A common manifestation of depression is anhedonia. Simply it's an inability to experience pleasure from things you normally found pleasurable. Get her some help but also know that some of the most common and effective anti-depressants can have a suppressive effect on the libido. The doctor can explain it to you but just be aware that it's normal given her condition. Good luck.

23rd February 2013, 13:19	#6
RissenPhoenix Registered User Virgin Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 2 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 2 Posts	Some history on her and myself. I grew up knowing that if you want something you have to work for it. There are no free hand outs in life. I have tried and her friends have tried to help her and she has pushed us away each time. Her biggest complaint is that i work too much and don't make enough money that she can be a stay at home mother. We had a great first 3 years up until my son was born. Once he. Was born my wife had a hard time taking care of him. She sometimes just flat out ignored him. I didn't know this until i was seriously injured at work and was at homed layed up for a year where she not only could not take care of my needs but couldn't accept that i was doing a better job of raising our son. Several times she would up and leave us, and go back with her mother for a few days at a time. Then last year after a fight about me working too much and not making enough for her to quite her job she walked out and left for 6 weeks. It wasn't until my son asked when mom was coming home 5 and a half weeks later did he even mention her. We have been trying to work things out but this is when she now said that she doesn't want to have sex, anymore. We have done the counseling , talked to pastors, and the list goes on. We are basically staying together for my sons sake so he will grow up having his mom and dad around. When she said she didn't want to have sex anymore, i posed the question as to having a "Friend with benefits ". She said nothing. So this is where I'm at, at this point.

23rd February 2013, 13:57	#7
jdbAG Registered User Addicted Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 389 Thanks: 1,972 Thanked 1,257 Times in 307 Posts	Fuck her in her sleep. If porn has taught me anything it's that she wont notice

23rd February 2013, 16:15	#9
theharlequin Keeper of the Black Library Forum Lord Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 1,420 Thanks: 7,762 Thanked 2,600 Times in 1,046 Posts	Time to skip the pastors, family/friends and seek an expensive professional psychologist with expertise in this area. Sooner the better to pin point the cause of these issues, there might be more going on behind the scenes you are not aware of. You had something special, it can be this way again with some good support and understanding.