Tara Milks Mammary Mangling

[jackjohn]

Tara Reid has turned lemons into lemonade, or, more specifically, a botched boob job into a job. In the wake of her "Plastic Surgery Nightmare" cover story in Us Weekly, the pie-eyed-inclined punchline's once empty calendar is suddenly crammed with promotional appearances.

On Wednesday, Tara was allowed onto the set of the "Today" show to discuss her ta-ta trauma, but had a spot of trouble when it came to describing the terrifying nip-tuck results.

"It looked like I got completely butchered up," she said of her bloated post-surgery breasts. "The areolas ... they looked like goose-shaped eggs."

Now, as much as we're tickled by the thought of Reid's nippular landscape resembling a web-footed bird, she was obviously going for the more apt "goose-egg shaped."

[jackjohn]

The confusion continued during her sit-down Thursday on "The View," when she attempted to demonstrate her d

[jackjohn]

... I don't know why , but for some reason . I can't get all the text to appear in this thread ...