11th July 2010, 15:10 | #371 |
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I heartily agree about the tats and piercings. When I'm appointed porn czar by President Palin in 2012 I will address this and put a limit on the amount.
My big peeve though is anal sex. There's just too much WILLING anal going on. I remember the days when the anal scenes were about submission and pain turning into pleasure. Loved those scenes where the guys starts probing at the asshole and the girl says "no, no, not my ass!" and then he slides it in anyway. After a little bit of squirming and screaming (it iIS acting after all guys) she starts to like it and is soon riding away. Nowadays its all "put it in my ass now!" This is fine sometimes, but not all the time. If anyone knows any pornchicks who are like this, let me know. So endeth the lesson. |
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12th July 2010, 17:50 | #372 | |
Infallable..never mind
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Quote:
When you are appointed porn czar, could you also tell Lisa Ann to stop pretending that she is Sarah Palin. I mean, that ship sailed two years ago. She doesn't need glasses, or the harido with bangs, it's just getting old, kinda like her. |
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13th July 2010, 22:52 | #373 |
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I agree Bill, it has gotten old with her. And I also agree about liking her, she looks WAY better as an older woman than she did as a starlet.
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16th July 2010, 21:21 | #374 |
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My pet peeves
- Men who do any of the following: slapping, hitting, strangling, spanking, nipple-pulling, spitting, overly aggressive finger-fucking, or any other abusive behaviour
- Men who are either spectacularly ugly, look like they just been let out of the joint (or the Legion) and/or behave like retards. Sure, that's about 95% of them and it's impossible to list them all, but they include: Ron Jeremy, Mark Davis, Zenza Raggi (all as ugly as sin); Mark Wood, David Perry, Steve Holmes (retards) - Men who look like they're having a shit when they're supposed to be having an orgasm - wtf? Actually, it'd be preferable to leave their stupid face-pulling out altogether, but it seems directors are too idle to edit these days - wheel them out and do something unpleasant to them - Women or men with tattoos, piercings, or unnatural-looking enhancements (which includes teeth) - Women who spit - Unhygienic practices such as ATM, ass-to-vagina, in fact ass-to-anywhere unless it's the showers - Unaesthetic practices, such as ass-licking, cum-swapping, cum-drinking, yuck yuck! Even pissing seems mild compared to that ; everything to do with "gape" - ffs! - Annoying practices, such as: men who wag their dicks as if that was all they were born for (the dick-waggers); men who can't keep their dicks inside a women but keep pulling it out (men who don't know how to fuck); men who think that plunging their dick into a woman, pulling it out, plunging in, pulling it out and repeating the process is watchable (cretins); directors who don't edit out these pathetic sequences (suggestions for how many volts they should receive for each repeated offence are welcomed!) - Practices we really don't need to see so often, such as: anal sex - seriously, everyone knows that practically no woman likes it, so what is this? Oral sex - vastly overrated, and vastly overfilmed. Neither sex is good at this, everyone knows it, and it's best left on the periphery. Besides, men performing cunnilingus on camera really do make it look unnatural and unappetising, and the worst offender is Peter North who looks like a chipmunk when he eats a woman; Lesbianism: completely unnecessary, and has little place in straight movies There's plenty more, but must not make the post too long |
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16th July 2010, 22:34 | #375 |
Who Cut The Cheese?
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To me blow jobs and eating pussy should be the apetizer of a porn scene with actual fucking being the main event. I just don't get scenes where the girl gets naked and blows the guy. He never gets to fuck her so why is she getting naked? Saw a Julia Ann brobang scene with 4-6 black guys and Julia Ann. She gets naked and blows all the dudes and they jerk off onto her. You got Julia Ann NAKED in front of you and you aren't gonna hit that?
Same with all the handjob scenes. Monica Sweetheart is naked in front of you and you want a handjob from her instead of fucking her? |
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16th July 2010, 23:02 | #376 |
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More pet peeves
- Facials/open mouth cum-shots; most women don't want sperm anywhere near their heads let alone in their mouths, and who can blame them?
No one objects to a man ejaculating on a woman's body, but to do it on her face or in her mouth is disgusting |
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17th July 2010, 06:24 | #377 |
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I hate nasally-voiced directors or the camerman making stupid comments after sex scenes. It's just not right to hear them go on and on about another guy's dick or get excited about a cumshot. Or they try to encourage a girl to swallow or lick up a cumshot. Just the let the girl do what she wants and shut the fuck up!
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19th July 2010, 21:35 | #378 |
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1. Tatoos - gross;
2. Piercings - yuck; 3. Boob jobs - any tit is better than rubber tit; 4. Trannies and/or Shemales - why is this such the rage? totally fuckin' gross. |
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20th July 2010, 09:18 | #379 |
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Wow.
Last edited by ebbie; 20th July 2010 at 15:52.
The constant catterwauling of the starlet. "Oh WOW. Oh Baby! Oh Yeah. You're so fuckin' BIG!" all in that bored, tired, mentally-compiling-my shopping-list-and-reminding-myself-to-take-the-cat-to-the-vet voice. Woman! if you don't really mean it and can't convincingly fake it just SHUT UP! The man GRRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLING all through the act. While I understand that this tatooed simian is merely trying to underline his status as a predatory beast, he should come to terms with the fact that he's there as a prop and nothing more. No one watches to see his pimply inked arse going back and forth and they don't want any emphasis from him at all. Do your job in silence. You are a dildo with limbs and possibly a pulse. Spitting. Why God? Why? Every Gianna Michaels scene that entails her retching and hurling phlegm into the guy's crotch has me clicking stop. Every guy who spits in the girl's face want's a good kicking. Just stop it. It's revolting. Slapping. The occassional affectionate pat on the arse is fine, but most women will tell you that slapping their breasts bloody hurts, whacking her in the crotch isn't in any way arousing, and the only thing beating her across the face and choking her will do is remind her of that shitty and traumatic prom she's been trying to block out which probably is psychologically responsible for her getting into porn in the first place. Every bloody scene ending in a facial that means that the guy breaks stride, withdraws [wtf?? at that point wild horses couldn't drag me out of there!] runs around to the other side because time is clearly of the essence and then spends fifteen minutes tossing himself off while she kneels there with her tongue out panting like a hyena only to shut her mouth and screw her eyes tight shut when he finally gets off. Apart from the fact that it's piss poor editing and fourteen minutes of the man wanking himself could be cut with no loss to the integrity of the scene [wow. There's an oxymoron] for this to be the standard cinematic conclusion to the sex act is bewildering. Why is her mouth open if she has no intention of taking the shot in her mouth? Why is he in such a rush if he requires a lengthy period of masturbation to ejaculate? Why does the director think that a quarter hour of male masturbation in straight male oriented porn is arousing? Is the withdrawal thing porn's nod to Catholicism do you think? Better than buggering alter boys I suppose. Urolagia/Copraphagia. There's no sane rationale for finding the treatment of any partner as a toilet sexually arousing. Another one of those things that falls well outside the boundaries of "each to his/her own". Tijuana tit jobs [See Monique Fuentes and Krystal Steal] Bad cosmetic surgery and tattoos and the girl ending up like a train wreck. [see Mya Nichole/McKay/whatever.] The girls who drive a train up their arses so often that they fall out. Once in a while is bad and therefore good because breaking the rules is a turn on. Doing it so often that it becomes routine and results in an uncomfortable and unpleasant medical condition... [see Mya Nichole/McKay/whatever.] Porn performers with multiple names. Pick one and live with it. [see Mya Nichole/McKay/whatever.] A plethora of performers with the same name. Equity has a rule where each performer has a unique name. No two performers can have an identical name. Porn should adopt this rule. It makes sense. There are many more but this will do for starters. |
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24th July 2010, 10:07 | #380 |
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Stupid music, and you can't hear the action.
Guys that can't get it up for a knock out babe. Gurgling and choking blowjobs. Just suck it! Faking incredible orgasms. Guys to lame to get on top and pound it. Girls that are too loud and vocal, stuff a sock in it! Girls masturbating with dildos and vibrators. Just use the fingers!! Wiping off the pussy juice, come on man leave it! To many tattoos, trashy looking. Might as well screw a comic book. Girls that act like they are cuming as soon as someone touches them. Slapping the ass, choking, and abuse, not my cup of tea. I would love to see a girl punch a guy in the mouth when he slaps her ass about ten times. Corny Plots. Lets just have sex. |
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