A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The
very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of
lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says
he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,
"Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right
behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the
manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Canada, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up
there."
"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."
"No shit??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
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MOD NOTE: this thread is both awesome and huge so has been split into two threads with this part being closed and continued in the new Freakzilla's Joke Thread II