khobuck's tasteless joke thread

[khobuck]

Why is porn like a KFC meal?
It feels great when you are doing it, but afterwards, you feel guilty and your hands a re all sticky.

I discovered today that my grandmother once starred in a porno film. I don't know what disgusts me more, the fact that she made it or the fact I carried on wanking after I recognized her.

Why is the bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

What's the best thing about having a sister who's a prostitute?
The family discount.

How many rednecks does it take to grease a combine harvester?
Only two if you run them through real slow.

[khobuck]

A pilot addresses his passengers but forgets to turn off the intercom. They hear him say to his co-pilot: “I’m going to have a shit, then shag the arse off that new air hostess.”
At this, the air hostess runs up the aisle to warn the pilot that the intercom is still on, but she trips and falls over.
“No need to hurry, love,” says an old lady. “He’s having a shit first

What goes clip-clop clip-clop bang!?
An Amish drive-by shooting.

Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they are full of Arab semen

Why did Mark Chapman shoot John Lennon?
Yoko ducked

[khobuck]

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.
The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".
"Why is that?" said the other tramp.
"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a $20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."
The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."
"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"
"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

[the_gremlin]

hehe