Will the average woman have to be less ambitious, when seeking a mate?

[sordi88]

Hey you all!

Sorry for cock-blocking you all with some good ol' phylosophical talk, however this is also a place to discuss general topics, not just share porn
Anyway, I was reflecting on something these days and I was very curious to know what you felt about it.

I won't sugar coat it, I'm in my thirties and because of many factors (half of which are self-inflicted) I basically failed to test myself in many aspects of life and fully grow out of the immature state of mind.
I don't have a car, I can't drive, I don't have a place to live on my own, I'm extremely socially anxious, I don't make enough money to sustain myself despite having a fairly gret talent in my field and I have spent the totality of my 20s (and the first part of my thirties) without being able to have any relations with a woman (other than friendship, of course), with the extra tragic detail that I'm not a virgin (making my regression even harder to swallow).
All the aforementioned things made me regress to the levels of a terrified 17-year old (roughly the last age I was able to have sex) when it comes to romantically interacting with a woman.
I'm not here for being pitied or anything else, I have to work on my problems on my own; it was just some necessary context.

Anyway for about the last 7-8 years I thought I was severly behind everyone else (to a degree I still am), but upon starting to discuss with my friends and acquaintances I noticed lots of people were in better, yet quite similar situations.
In my social group there are about 15 males, between friends and acquaintances, and about 13 of them still live with their parents (despite being 30-32 and having stable jobs) and many articles talk about how the current economic climate made things such as having a house almost impossible for anyone younger than 50.

I fail to think a 35 year old woman would find a 34 year old man living with his parents, without a car and the sex experience of an awkward 17 year old to be appealing, and by discussing with my parents I noticed something...
Back in their day (70s-80s) it was pretty normal for the average man to have a place on its own, a decent wage and a car by the time he was 28 or so; even if you led a simple life you still met the requirements for being considered a stable and attractive adult.
For example in my situation what I could offer a woman?
"I'll pick you up at 8 and we'll take the bus and if things will go well we'll sneak into my house when my parents sleep and I'll probably come in 15 seconds"
Hardly an enticing proposal...

Anyway, to make the long story short, it's clear that the average man (I'd consider that age roughly anything around 35 year old) today is what the same person would have been in their very early 20s when my parents were young and with the current cancel-culture, continuous social fight against masculity, the epidemic of social anxiety and the inevitable shift to virtual pornographic solutions (believe me almost nobody will go into the dating mindfield when VR porn will be super-realistic) I don't see the average man being as attractive to a woman as 30 or 40 years ago.

So after all of this I wonder...
Will future women (let's say women that will be 35 in 2030-2040) have to become less ambitious when seeking a mate? Especially given the fierce competition more technologically advanced solutions for adult entertainment will pose?
The point of this question is not to be resentful towards a specific gender, quite the opposite actually!
It would be fantastic to have the perspective of a woman on this, but given the 99.9% male userbase of this forum, I won't keep my hopes up
I'm genuinely sorry that some women will have to compromise more and more in the future, with the current emasculation of society that's going on.

Once again, this post isn't a pity fest; I'm genuinely interested in knowing what you think of the subject; I'm fairly sure some pretty cool discussions could spark from such a topic.

Cheers to you all!

[Lando Griffin]

Thanks for sharing, Sordi.

I'm in a similar situation as you. Due to several mental health issues, including social anxiety disorder, I am a virtual recluse with no home of my own and not enough money to sustain myself either. I also have very little experience with women. The problem is, when you hit your 30s or older, the pickings become slim. I saw a comedian once talk about how dating in your 40s was like shopping at the thrift store. If you do happen to find someone in your age group, chances are very great that they have kids, and women want someone who can support them and their children. As far as your question goes, unfortunately, I don't see women being less selective. In fact, I see them becoming even more picky.

Things wouldn't be so bad, except that our society constantly glamorizes and encourages relationships. We even have a whole holiday devoted to that crap. And you have influencers and such acting like marriage is an obligation or a requirement to be considered a success. I think it's all bullshit. Just know that we are not failures because of our lack of a relationship. In fact, I've made my peace with it and see it as something of a badge of honor.

Actually, I'm starting to ramble now. If don't know if any of this helps, I just want you to know you are not alone and there are others, even here on this forum, who are in similar situations as yourself. Stay strong my friend.

[The Old Goat]

As a generalization you've hit the nail. Internet is a huge part of most social anxiety regarding a womans inferred sexual wants. I wonder about how a 15yr old feels when they delve into hardcore porn for the first time. For a Girl, that must be terrifying; to see porn and think "That is what sex is".

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by The Old Goat

As a generalization you've hit the nail. Internet is a huge part of most social anxiety regarding a womans inferred sexual wants. I wonder about how a 15yr old feels when they delve into hardcore porn for the first time. For a Girl, that must be terrifying; to see porn and think "That is what sex is".

I cannot relate to that as I had a fairly normal introduction with porn.
Now in my adult age I do appreciate the...let's say "energic" clips, but when I was in the age of discovery magazines were still king and there was little beyond seeing picture of regular missionary sex (if you were lucky) or just soft-core stuff (props to all the newspaper stands that didn't ask for ID).

Must be hell to be a parent these days...as how do you strike the correct balance between repressing your teenage sons and daughters, without making them believe porn is like real sex?!

That's actually the reason I love porn...it's a fantasy.
Just like dragons and shit is, or science fiction.
From the very little I can remember (it was like 14 years ago the last time I got some), """boring""" ol' awkward sex with someone you're genuinely attracted to (and vice versa) is 100% better than what you see in porn which, however, caters to your phantasy and the more animal like part of yourself.

For example I'm fairly sure I wouldn't be attracted to the type of girls (speaking of bodies) I get excited about in porn because (as said before) it is a fantasy...an exageration.


anyway, as a side note I had no trouble getting it on in my late teens, as ingenuity and awkwarness were part of that age.
My trouble is that I trongly suspect that a woman (I define a woman as a female between 30 and 50, generally speaking) wouldn't exactly be thrilled to engage with a man-child, but at the same time it's not easy to recover 10-15 of lost maturity in the span of a weekend..

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by Lando Griffin

Thanks for sharing, Sordi.

I'm in a similar situation as you. Due to several mental health issues, including social anxiety disorder, I am a virtual recluse with no home of my own and not enough money to sustain myself either. I also have very little experience with women. The problem is, when you hit your 30s or older, the pickings become slim. I saw a comedian once talk about how dating in your 40s was like shopping at the thrift store. If you do happen to find someone in your age group, chances are very great that they have kids, and women want someone who can support them and their children. As far as your question goes, unfortunately, I don't see women being less selective. In fact, I see them becoming even more picky.

Things wouldn't be so bad, except that our society constantly glamorizes and encourages relationships. We even have a whole holiday devoted to that crap. And you have influencers and such acting like marriage is an obligation or a requirement to be considered a success. I think it's all bullshit. Just know that we are not failures because of our lack of a relationship. In fact, I've made my peace with it and see it as something of a badge of honor.

Actually, I'm starting to ramble now. If don't know if any of this helps, I just want you to know you are not alone and there are others, even here on this forum, who are in similar situations as yourself. Stay strong my friend.

I guess everyone has its own perspective and while I don't necessary agree 100% with your statement, I do genuinely appreciate your input (this is a community after all).

On a side note, I am quite disgusted by this "incel" culture that promotes despising women for one's lack of success in the sexual sphere.
As I discussed above, we have to consider the woman's point of view and let's be honest...lots of us aren't exactly emanating masculine sexual energy.
I really do understand the woman's point of view in this case, and my point was more with regards to the fact males are becoming less and less interested in risking in the dating field, while at the same time becoming less and less masuciline (for a billion different reasons, from the diet to the changes in society).
With this outrageous growth in AI capabilities these years, how long until the adult industry will take advantage of it?
LOL, the average man of the 2040s might end up not ever seeing an actual naked woman in his lifetime.

[alexora]

What most women look for in a man, is someone fun to hang out with, with a kind heart, and varied interests.

What they don't necessarily want is beauty, a big dick, and certainly not someone who is a controlling, possessive person.

If you don't have a car (I don't, but then again I live in London, a city with a very good public transport system, so I don't really need one), get a bicycle and find a lady who also likes cycling: not only is it better for the environment, but also for your fitness...

The oddest thing I have found is why people feel the need to question themselves because that's just the way you are, people should stop pigeon holing themselves and just be what they want to be.

So what if you don't have a car or live at home or play a console or flick bogeys at your TV, nobody should give a shit, you is what you is.

The worst kind are the ones who label kids, a kid day dreams and all of a sudden they have ADHD, oh fuck off with that shit.

[Lando Griffin]

Originally Posted by sordi88

I'm genuinely sorry that some women will have to compromise more and more in the future, with the current emasculation of society that's going on.

Bill Maher recently did a segment on this. It was based on a poll that showed people were having much less sex now than in the past. Like you, he mentioned the current emasculation of society and how women then realized they aren't attracted to these feminized men.

You Tube

You Tube

Originally Posted by sordi88

I guess everyone has its own perspective and while I don't necessary agree 100% with your statement, I do genuinely appreciate your input (this is a community after all).

Geez, I was just trying to be supportive.

I guess I'll learn to keep my thoughts to myself.

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by spreadwell

The worst kind are the ones who label kids, a kid day dreams and all of a sudden they have ADHD, oh fuck off with that shit.

At least I'd get some tasty Adderal prescriptions, if that was the case.

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by Lando Griffin

Bill Maher recently did a segment on this. It was based on a poll that showed people were having much less sex now than in the past. Like you, he mentioned the current emasculation of society and how women then realized they aren't attracted to these feminized men.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=05Q1Bzg5zTY



Geez, I was just trying to be supportive.

I guess I'll learn to keep my thoughts to myself.

LOL I think you VASTLY misunderstood my mood, we're all friends here and never EVER repress your thiughts.
I was just saying I don't fully agree with your point of view, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the discussion.
ANyway I apologise if I somehow made you feel uncomfortable.