Need your thoughts on a strategy to meet new people

[sordi88]

Last weekend was a dud, but I will admit I was lazy...
I'll try putting a little more effort this week.
Fortunately, during the summer, people tend to hang out even on regular weekdays.

[pat]

I'm in the same situation as you. The last time I had sex was in my first year of study, 10 years ago. Since then, I have been living alone and haven't even tried to look for new friends or go on a date. But unlike you, I consider myself ugly, and not funny, I rate myself 4/10 guy.I attend to therapy to change that because my low self-esteem, and anxiety consistently stopped me from any social activity

[Lonewolf]

I wouldn't force the issue, because, as they say, love comes along when you least expect it.

Any number of things are a good step in the right direction:

- go to a play
- next time you go shopping, make eye contact with females
- join a band (if you're musically inclined)... worked for me.
- join a church group
- go to an improv night (where you participate)... have heard good things about this one.
- scour newspapers / social media for singles activities (if you haven't already done so)

Anything that puts you in public... anything from poetry slams to craft fairs to going someplace you've never been before - is a step in a direction. The important thing is to let it come to you, don't force it.

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf

The important thing is to let it come to you, don't force it.

I get what you mean, but I have to fore myself a little, otherwise I would never leave my house or the surrounding woods I spend half my life walking amongst.

[ellpieski]

Originally Posted by sordi88

Hello friends!
For once I need your advice! I thank you in advance <3


What do you think?
Am I being delirious?
Am I being Inappropriate?
Shoudl I just give up this endevaour?

Thanks!

The going out part I get and understand, and it certainly cant hurt, but I would advise you to go in a similar, but different, direction.

I would say rather than a bar, try volunteering for some kind of public service. You can meet some great people in those kind of organizations (I have for sure), with absolutely no pressure "to meet" or "be datable". There is usually plenty to do, lots of places to be, many people to interact with, and an effortless expansion of friends. It is most likely that you wont find "somebody to love" directly in the group or club. But you will find buddies, build friendships, and enlarge your social group, all the while doing some good in the world.

And here is the trick (not really a trick), as your trusted social group grows and enlarges, they will also be on the lookout for you......things like meetings and cocktail hours, etc. And if at some point that means dating a girl, until you have seen it, you wont believe the effort older women will put in to finding a girl. Matchmaking is like cocaine to older women. It is like having a battalion of recon scouts in the military.

Just a further word of advice....no single moms. You wont ever get what you are seeking with them. You wont be a partner, you wont be the real dad, and you wont ever be number one.

[Frogger]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf

I wouldn't force the issue, because, as they say, love comes along when you least expect it.

Any number of things are a good step in the right direction:

- go to a play
- next time you go shopping, make eye contact with females
- join a band (if you're musically inclined)... worked for me.
- join a church group
- go to an improv night (where you participate)... have heard good things about this one.
- scour newspapers / social media for singles activities (if you haven't already done so)

Anything that puts you in public... anything from poetry slams to craft fairs to going someplace you've never been before - is a step in a direction. The important thing is to let it come to you, don't force it.

Great advice above!

Looks are not everything in a relationship. I have seen some beautiful women that were absolute monsters (ie - wife #2), and some that were not so beautiful on the outside, however were the most adorable creature on the inside.

Another thought - learn to cook and start shopping in the grocery stores. You will be amazed at how many women will ask for your advice if you halfway know what you're doing with the ingredients and in the kitchen.

I've always heard that a way to a mans heart was thru his stomach. The same applies to women.

[sordi88]

Originally Posted by ellpieski

The going out part I get and understand, and it certainly cant hurt, but I would advise you to go in a similar, but different, direction.

I would say rather than a bar, try volunteering for some kind of public service. You can meet some great people in those kind of organizations (I have for sure), with absolutely no pressure "to meet" or "be datable". There is usually plenty to do, lots of places to be, many people to interact with, and an effortless expansion of friends. It is most likely that you wont find "somebody to love" directly in the group or club. But you will find buddies, build friendships, and enlarge your social group, all the while doing some good in the world.

And here is the trick (not really a trick), as your trusted social group grows and enlarges, they will also be on the lookout for you......things like meetings and cocktail hours, etc. And if at some point that means dating a girl, until you have seen it, you wont believe the effort older women will put in to finding a girl. Matchmaking is like cocaine to older women. It is like having a battalion of recon scouts in the military.

Just a further word of advice....no single moms. You wont ever get what you are seeking with them. You wont be a partner, you wont be the real dad, and you wont ever be number one.

Good advice; thanks!